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I'm more of an Iron Maiden kind of guy, and obviously this is subjective. I didn't like the scream, but I guess that's how it is nowadays. There were a few notable fillins that impressed me. In the bridge especially, it felt a third of a beat too late. The reverb or whatever on them made them too present, and there was some timing issue everyone once in a while. I found the cymbals to be too excessive in the chorus. There were about 3, maybe 4 spots where I heard a misfret. I noticed some timing issues with the picking in the intro.I guess you may want to fix that. I loved the picked sequences: the tone didn't do much for me-I would have liked to see a little more punch to compliment that great bass-but the great performance and fast-paced nature really sounded great. The fourth chord is dissonant with the rest, and while that isn't a bad thing (it was initially quite refreshing), I agree with Dark that there are some flow issues with sections of the song not fitting together smoothly. I'll start exclusively musically: The opening chord riff is completely misfitting with the rest of the song. I'm going to be careful here, because apart from the fact that if I heard a song of this genre on the radio I would switch it off, but because I don't want my comments to come off with bad taste. Overall, I'd say that production isn't bad, and that you're composition is a keeper! I think James did a good job on these vocals, and I'm very comfortable listening to this in my house without any goofy headphones on. Thanks for wrapping up the song and tieing it off with a nice pretty bow at the end with that final chord. Hoo-rah for not ending on just a chord fade-out. you could have it say the same words or something, in some delayed fashion, since the words themselves don't span the whole of the musical interlude. maybe bring that scream back into the background, only. The words are fine, I think, but they might need a little something more. Honestly, I thought that the bridge was the weak point in the song. I love it It brought me back to when I studied language a little more seriously than I am doing currently, while I work one of those "Punching faxes like a drone on the eleventh floor" jobs until school starts again. I like the very british liason of an imaginary "R" between words that end with an open "a" sound and words that begin with a vowel (typically another "a" from what notice I've taken personally). The harmony over the chorus was very nice as well the choice of notes was excellent and I wouldn't complain if this part of the song's composition didn't change a bit from here until final production. The opening scream was very well done- I was very impressed with it, as I wasn't really expecting it to open the song!
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All throughout the song, I didn't feel like the guitar was trying too hard to do it's role. That slightly minor 4th note/chord in each bar is great for keeping the guitar melody interesting. Okay, so now that I've said a lot about nothing, really, allow me to go on And all at the same time, you've kept the interesting aspect of not condoning his "job", as you leave the bridge with He's gonna pull through, as if it's all just a big phase he'll figure out one day. I enjoyed the reversed outlook of the song, where you use the semi-sympathetic side of the narrator (or the side of him that at least wants to be sympathetic- that's only known to you) to express ideas like But he suffers paranoia and He works too hard. I'm glad that you didn't expressly write about him being a drug dealer in the lyrics- I think that would have ruined them a little. And I say that on merit of the subject (a drug dealer) and by this frequent usage of "him." Musicians are looking to be different (usually) in any way they can, and even if I were to stop reviewing this song right now, then what I've already written has pushed your lyrics into the "different" category. It was awkward for me, at first to hear the word so much in the song, but I don't offer that as a bad critism.
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I'm not used to hearing songs with lyrics that talk in the 3rd person with words like "him"- Honestly, the only song coming to mind is "Better Off Dead", by early New Found Glory. I enjoy the songs that have been posted here recently by you. Hm! This is rather refreshing, DaveUK and James. People think he's making money out of air Punching faxes like a drone on the eleventh floor They said he was the one with the head on his shouldersĪnd written on paper he was quite the candidate He will sort you out with a swift backhander Lyrics for anyone who wants to know (its about a drug dealer)Ī friend of a friend, favour for a favour